Those of us who’ve been watching sports for a considerable amount of time have probably grown tired of the mandatory halftime interview between the sideline reporter and coach who wants nothing to do with being interviewed.
They are uninteresting and unnecessary. The questions are the same but worded differently and the answers are the same but worded differently. Occasionally, a coach might make an eyebrow raising comment but more often than not they’re cookie cutter answers. Coaches speak in cliches. It’s boring and dull.
The following are some examples that could spice up the interviews and make it worth watching.
Cliche
Reporter: “Coach, what do you have to do to play better in the second half?”
Coach: “We have to execute better and maintain our focus!”
Truth
Reporter: “Coach, your opponent has the best run defense in the nation but you keep running the fucking ball without any success. What are your thoughts?”
Coach: “I have no clue except my offensive coordinator is a fucking idiot.”
Cliche
Reporter: “Coach your point guard Bobby has struggled in the first half, what do you have to do to get him going?”
Coach: “Bobby is our guy, we will calm him down and tell him to play his game.”
Truth
Reporter: “Coach, Bobby’s first half performance has been the most dreadful I’ve ever seen. He was dogshit. Thoughts”?
Coach: “Yes he was trash and I really regret bringing him into my program. Maybe he will get hurt and my problem will be solved.”
Cliche
Reporter: “ Coach, your team has been on the wrong side of 2 questionable calls. How do you overcome it?”
Coach: We have to put it out of our minds. We need to play our game, put ourselves in a position to win, and not let the refs decide the game.”
Truth
Reporter: “Coach those 2 calls sucked. Do you think the refs are out to get you? Last month they threw you out of a game.”
Coach: “The moment I knew they were assigned to officiate this game we were fucked. They are the worst!”
Cliche
Reporter: “Coach, how do you replace your All-American QB Billy who entered the transfer portal and is now the starting QB at your most bitter rival?”
Coach: “ We truly appreciate what Billy did for our program while he was here. However, we hated to lose him but wish him well!”
Truth
Reporter: “Coach how disappointed and betrayed did you feel when you learned that Billy was transferring after a record setting season last year?”
Coach: “You know, we catered and coddled that prick. We gave him everything he wanted and met all of his demands He’s an unappreciative bastard and quite frankly he can rot in hell!”
More truths less cliches